Friday, May 29, 2009

I am so excited. We just came back from Allergria. Emily, my niece was sick,so she could not go so Ty and I got to go with the girls. It was truly amazing. The way those people twisted and turned and flew throught the air...amazing. They were so strong and fit OMG they were fit. At the begining one of the musicians sat down beside Ty he was terrified. He wanted to know if any one else was going to come sit down. The rest was cool he did not mind the people so much. Good day.!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Today although tired I am feeling better. We went to Ty's FAIR. My school does not do report cards so FAIR is the big thing, anyway Ty's class studied Dinosaurs, he was very excited but nervous but he did great.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Treatment #2 DONE. Today was alright. Tasha came with me and we had a great chat.Feeling good. I am very excited that the PENS made it to the Stanley Cup Finals. Bring home the CUP Sid!!!!! Tired and hungry I am sure how this chemo diet is working...I am always hungry. AHHHHHH!!!!

Friday, May 22, 2009

I have no hair. It is fascinating to me how much attention we pay to something that after it is gone you hardly notice. Until you see yourself in the mirror of course, then you notice. I am getting used to it and the kids don't even comment on it. I have gone out without "my hair" and just worn a hat and it seems okay. I am sure people notice but i feel okay. It really is just an accessory. I have put on a little eye makeup when i go out just for a little help... look at my eyes not my bald head or my fake hair.
I am excited on MOnday i see my plastic surgeon. I didn't think i would ever have a plastic surgeon but here i am..I have to go to see what my options are for reconstruction..little doe this guy know i have it all worked out. I will be having two new boobies courtesy of my baby fat. I knew i was saving that for something good. It is funny to me i still call it baby fat...I dont have a baby anymore i have a 2 year old almost three, so should i call it toddler fat? I guess it does not matter what i call it because I am now going to put it to good use- two perfectly shaped C's maybe D's will shall see how much he might need. A tummy tuck would not hurt anyone either. Look! I am looking for any silver lining I can get. Remember I am bald.
Tuesday I make another trip to the clinic and then Wednesday a little poison to round out the week. Good times....
Check ya soon.

Monday, May 18, 2009

It is official. The hair is going. As most of you who know me, know I don't care much about the girlie stuff- hair, make up, clothes etc... I really have not thought alot about my hair falling out- it just hair it will grow back, but now that is going. I am feeling a little sad. I am not sure if it is about the hair or if it means I am really sick. When I see people (women) with no hair, no eyebrows I know they are having treatment. So now that woman will be me. Yes I can wear a wig or a hat but at the end of the day- I have no hair because every 21 days a nice nurse pushes poison in my arm to kill a disease that I don't want to kill me.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Well its hair is falling out.Just little bits but enough that I have noticed. Not really sure how I am feeling about it but it has begun...I feel really good physically today. The best i feel like a I have turned the corner only 10 more days until another shot of the good stuff.My children are off on a playdate and I am going to read more of my book...I know me reading a book- a book with no pictures and morethen 10 words on a page. My girl Leigh Ann gave me Lance Armstrongs' book it is really good. Thanks Bird!!! I must go I am writting my list of things to do this week. Oh so much between blood,tests and poison. What's a girl to do!!!?

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Well here I am 7 days post first treatment. I am actually almost feeling like myself. I notice being really tired and not able to do as much or for as long but I guess that is what happens when you take poison.I am finding myself realy hungry. Which is not helpfulI was hoping for the chemo diet but it does not look like it is a weight loss program but a weight gain. All the more for reconstruction I guess....

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I have almost made it back to the land of the living. Really tired but nothing i did not expect. I have a little head cold but all is good. I will write more later when all are asleep.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Well, well, well. Not words used in my house these days. We had to take Ty to the ER on Thursday evening he was not well. He was admitted early Friday morning an has been there ever since. he has pneumonia on the right side. He is on IV antibotics hopefully they will let him out tomorrow. He is having a good time being feed and having someones undeivideded attetion for hours on end.He has become a Skip Bo champ and his new favorite is WAR. He still does not take the "L" very well but he is trying.
I have been doing alright with treatment but I must admit I am really tired. Still some stomach issues but no v@#*t.


Thursday, May 7, 2009

What actually happens....

A lot of peole have been asking about what happens when I go for chemo so I thought I would give ya the run down. I get an IV,then I have some saline put throught about 25 min. Then they give me two drugs for nausea via the drip takes abot 20 min, after those drugs the nurse manually pushes through the first two chemo drugs it takes about 20 min, then they give a third drug via the drip then another bag of saline another 15 min. So all in all it takes about an our and a half. Then I get to go home. I have a drug regimend that I have to follow for a few days after to help with the nausea but other then that no more drugs until next time.

Off I go to see if they are going to kill off my Izzie....
Day two post chemo
Not bad still feeling a little stomach upset but other then that all is good. I amm hoping all will continue to move in a good direction and then maybe i can come to the Benefit for school or at least make an apperience. I need that romance basket....NO hair,chemo and two little kids . I need all the help I can get. Hahhah.
Off to do some laundry fun fun fun . I do now what your thinking...I wish I had her life. LOL

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Today was my first treatment. Things are alright a little nausea but i ate food so i giess thats a lesson learned. I was really hingry and they said i could eat but my belly does not really like it so much. I am really tired so i am off to bed. Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers.

I Wish You Enough was sent to me by a wondeful friend who lives her life in my opinion just like the story. She gives all she can give and is truly someone who I wish enough for each day.
Love you Suzanne. Thank you for laways making me smile and cry.
I Wish You Enough
Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged & the mother said, 'I love you, and I wish you enough.'
The daughter replied, 'Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom.'
They kissed & the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated.. Standing there I could see she wanted & needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy, but she welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'
'Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?'.
'I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead & the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral,' she said.
'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?'
She began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.' She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail,she smiled even more. 'When we said, 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.' Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.
I you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive & everlasting..
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.She then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.TAKE TIME TO LIVE... ...
To all my friends and loved ones,
Thank you for all your thoughts and prayer

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The night before chemo...need I say more. :(

Monday, May 4, 2009

Well I have waited a few days in the hopes that my entry will be much more exciting. Well, I should say my life will be much more exciting but we all know that ain't gonna happen. I did have a great weekend. I went to my godson's first communion,a birthday party and a wedding shower. I loved them all it is nice to see people happy, it allows you to remember the little things are the things that are important. This brings me to my next idea i am going to pick a topic or you can pick a topic and then i will write about what i think---challenge me. See what i think--you all know i have an opinion about everything- you just might know what it is... but I might surprise you. Today's topic
"The Little Things"...

What does that really mean? We have all heard don't sweat the small stuff or it is the little things that matter. So which is it no sweat or it all matters. I think it depends on what you call the little things. Is it truly the things you do everyday that after years of doing them become the little things in your day? I would say it is those little things ,everyday things. Those are the things you remember from your childhood and your life. yes i remember the day I was married(today actually 7 years ago) the day my children were born, but those are life changing moments. But what i remember from my life are the little things; when we used to visit my Grampie on Chittick Ave. He had this tiny little coin purse and he would give each one of us a quarter and we would walk down to the store and get a treat. I don't remember how old I was but a remember that change purse. The little things. I remember my sister buying my first pair of knee pads . They are rotting somewhere now, but i remember. I don't remember when Darren told me he loved me for the first time...but I remember when he told me it last.(10 min ago when he hung up the phone) the little things.
I know watching my children sleep is the my favorite time of my day. Not just because they are quiet and are not moving, cause that helps, but because in that moment they are totally innocent and are unaware that my every thought,breath and heart beat is for them.
So, I do think the small things are important because they will remember the fun and the play and all the good stuff. So, the next time you are ready to pull your hair out because the bathroom looks like a pool deck, remember what they look like asleep. The the floor won't look so bad.

Friday, May 1, 2009

I am so glad my rain dance worked and the fires are out in Herring Cove and area. I am beginning to think this BLOG may make me more depressed then happy. Really !it is making me realize how absolutely boring my life really is....seriously. Today I went to the dentist twice, that;s another story and made a crown and did laundry and played with Mickle and that is it!!See my entire day can be summed up in one run on sentence. I am going start making up s*$t to make it more exciting! Write tomorrow.
Today is just a blah day. The fires are keeping my mind off all the rest. I hope everyone I love is safe and warm and has a home to go back to.